.....Sorry about the lack of updates lately, but I have been working on my golf game in preparation for the Senior Tour in thirty years. There is a nice new Doug update up for you maniacs, so be sure and check it out here. Sometime soon there will be an exciting new review up and it's a goodin' so come back soon for that. I'm not going to yammer on again about how you guys should be posting in the forums, because you obviously aren't going to listen to me even though there is all kinds of excellent hi-larious stuff for you to read there. You just won't get to see the funny and your only hurting yourselves so ha-ha-ha. T-shirts and other crap are still available, go buy something or something. The site is also going to have it's one year anniversary and maybe we'll so something special for that. There are several sites that have linked us and asked for nothing in return, so I'm gonna give them a lil' old plug right here:

fish-zine - crazyfuckedupshit - ChrisAlvey

.....If you want us to link you, the best way to make it happen is to link us first(there is even a little button you can use on the left side of the page!). I'll then notice you in our refers list and if you have a good page I'll link ya right back, no questions asked! You can also e-mail me and ask for a link and I promise I'll check out your site. I'll see you folks again soon, so don't be sad little choppers.

.....Guess what? That's right boys and girls it's a brand-spankin' new review! Go see now! A little monkey told me we don't update enough. He's right. He updates all the time though so go see him or something. We actually do have quite a bit of good stuff stockpiled, but we like to pace ourselves, so check back soon and there is bound to be something new. I wish more of you would visit the forums, there are funny people there and it is generally a pretty friendly place. Your input would be appreciated. I removed the shots section because it was a bandwidth hog and was pretty stale anyway. I'm hoping to replace it with a new section soon though. After you're through here(that includes visiting the forums) go visit these great sites:

Turdpile - Whatever Inc. - ClassorSex

.....The human body has certain limitations and boundaries, see Doug push those right here. I know there are alot of you checking out the forums so please take a moment to register and say hi. There are alot of really funny and insightful people in there, wouldn't you like to be one of them? Now sign the fuck up. We're working on snazzing the page up a bit again and have some surprises coming soon so be sure and come back to visit. After you are done here check out some of our friend's sites:

Dgnr8 - Lameking - Boiled Pudding

.....No more popups, no more ads, no more...hmmm those were the only real problems I had with the old forums. There are alot of cool new features on the new forums and they took a long time to get setup properly. If you come across an error in them let me know a.s.a.p. and I'll get it fixed. They are really nice so I hope you guys will use them. It does take a second to register, so please go ahead and do it here! Don't be lazy turds, be valuable members of the SMOTW community now! I got my shirt and was pretty happy with it. The colors turned out very nice and you'll have to fight the ladies off with a stick sportin' that sweet shirt (especially the tank top!). There are rumors circulating that a Doug photo shoot may be taking place tonight. Be sure and check back every day because that should be up soon. Also check out some of our new friends here:

Forbidden Compounds - Loaded Again

.....The shirts are finally done and they look kick-ass. I've already ordered one and should have it on my doorstep within a couple of weeks. I'm sure they will be excellent, but I can't guarantee that until mine actually arrives. They do have a nice return policy though thusly if it's not up to snuff you can always send it back, so screw it just go buy one now. We are making one big fat dollar for every shirt or other item sold and all of that money will go back into the webpage, so again, go buy some stuff. Doug is up to his usual antics, check that out here, and drop by the forums to say hi to the forum knuckleheads. I added a section in the forums for other webmasters to pimp out their sites so please take advantage of it here. I'm going to try to update more regularly so be sure and come back soon.

Check out this shit!

Brainsonfilm - Stupid Teen Shit - Khai - Zefrank - ORSM - Phuckedup

.....Heya kiddies! Thanks for continuing to visit our little funhouse here. I've been getting settled in to the new offices and am now ready to start getting serious about the page again. Doug has re-re-re-dedicated himself to becoming Mr. Universe and I will get a new Doug update up soon so you guys and gals can check out the his progress. We have also been diligently working on a new SMOTW t-shirt and will hopefully have those up for sale VERY soon as well. I also removed some links from our sidebars. These were sites that had not sent traffic in a long time or are now defunct. If you feel as though you have been wrongfully removed e-mail me and let me know and I'll get you back up over there. My e-mail is now fully functional once again so feel free to give me a holla, and if you wrote me and I never answered, write me again because I probably never got it. In the meantime check out how some rock stars are in bed and check out these other great sites:

HarryLimeTV - LittleEffect - MWLLKR - ThinkAttack - Morty

.....After a much maligned move the SMOTW offices are finally up and running once more. Doug has been up to his usual hijinx so be sure and check that out right here. Also, I was considering making some SMOTW T-shirts perhaps featuring the mug of everyone's favorite Mr. Universe in training. Send me an e-mail here and let me know if anyone is interested. I hope to take you all on a virtual tour of the new SMOTW offices in our next update, but in the meantime visit our forums (there are moderators and real people there to respond and chat with you now!) .

Check out these hi-larious sites:

DogBomb - Boiled Pudding - ORSM - Redbrain

.....We will be relocating the SMOTW offices over the next several days. During this time we will be without our computers and will be unable to receive e-mail. If you have something to say to us do it in the forums. When the new office is set up there is a VERY exciting Doug update that will be put up as soon as we are back online. In the meantime you should really go and check out some of our new links. Also I will be writing on the ThinkAttack staff and it should be up and running within the next week or so (at least that's what Dink says) so go check it out also.

Booga Booga Booga

IWANG - UncleMelon - Rantbox - TwoInchesFully

.....Doug had a great idea on how we can make some money. Read all about it here. There is also a new update on Doug's progress probably going up tomorrow, so be sure and check back for that. Our forums have had quite a flurry of activity lately so go say hi, and meet some of the scary people that hang out in there. Hopefully we will be meeting our newest staff member soon, and it ain't a guy, so be sure and check back soon for that. I've also changed the links around and added some new ones and removed some dead ones. When you go to TeamOxygen, check out the flip/mode on the top right side. It's good and he's a good friend of mine. Send us some e-mail too, I'll relly try to respond if you send it this time. E-MAIL US HERE!

These are Smart Sites.......GO READ THEM!!!!

Atomic Blue Rat - Think Attack - Joe Rogan - Little Effect

.....Well I have finally gotten around to doing an update and it's a doozy. Not long ago I gave Mr.Nefarious an assignment to go to the grocery store and find some scary food. He did. He really did. Go and check it out here! On a sad note, one of the sites that I write for (schoolofass) has closed it's doors due to it's own popularity. Bandwidth is expensive and so that's how the cookie crumbles. Also, for those of you searching for porn here, there is none. There will never be any. I like porn, I just don't feel like it fits in with this site and I'm sure you surfers are more than capable of finding porn on your own, as I know I am, and I think I may be borderline retarded. I'm happy with the few hundred readers that consistently come here, hopefully to get a laugh, and hopefully NOT to whack off to pictures of a topless Doug. Understand that we get paid nothing, as a matter of fact we have to pay to entertain you. There are no banner ads, with the exception of on the forums (but I have learned to love those), and hopefully there will never be. This is not really an e/n site, seeing as it is updated infrequently due to the massive production of our photo shoots and Doug's prima-donna attitude now that he is a web star. We update as we see fit, and when we have time. With that said, I love you. We will continue to update the site, and hopefully you will keep coming back. Talk to me in the forums here.

Go visit:

Lameking - Redbrain - WeirdStuff - Jimbo'sWorld - StupidTeenShit

.....Well surprise! Yet another host has failed. I felt bad about the sy.net situation, but this time our host just disappeared off of the face of the Earth. They did not respond to any e-mails, and their whole page is gone as well. I couldn't receive any mail from the site, so if you e-mailed me try it again here because I didn't get it. There is all kinds of marvelous, stupendous, monumental stuff right around the corner for you, our fans so check back soon. In the meantime visit the forums, and I'm gonna tell you to go visit some sites and why.

SchoolofAss - I write on the staff and it is always quality content(nekkid chix).

Holy Zoo - Their site is good and their music is better.

Ernie - If you haven't been there it's a site to behold.

Chimptopia - Consistently one of the most well written sites around.

Ratatak - Because Britain fears Doug.

Fat Willie - Because he has more page problems than me.

.....I suppose it was inevitable, but I think Doug has finally challenged another web personality to a fight, or something. Be sure to go here to get the full scoop. That Professor Brainpan sent me another ate up message as well. For being The Smartest Man on the Web it seems as though I attract some real weirdoes. Anyway check out his latest e-mail here......it's not even an e-mail really it's just some sort of threatening photo of some sort. I've heard word from Mr. Nefarious that he has some sort of major project in the works, so make sure and check back soon.....it's sure to be EVIL! Also will some of you people go and post something in our forums please? I know that alot of people come through here, but noone ever seems to post in the forms. Are you scared or what? Click here and post something in the forums you lazy fuckers! There is also a pretty good chance that I am going to regret doing this, but here is my ICQ number: 56868644, good luck catching me online though.

He wouldn't put them here if they weren't good so click them you retards or I'll come stab you in the face.(from: Doug)

TheCampusRag - MontyWorld - ArsonFactor - PorkSurfer - Dgnr8 - Morty's

.....Well, we have some good news in the fact that Doug actually started to work out a bit. Be sure to get the full scoop right here. If you haven't been keeping up with this whole Doug melodrama feel free to click here to take you to where it all started and you can be in the "cool" club again. Some of you will be happy to know that I have also updated the advice section a bit:

There is another alternative as well though.......bury your sorrows in the sweet embrace of mother booze. Nothing will help you get over girl problems or drown out the memories of whimpering Lhasa Apso's as you choked the life out of them like sweet sweet booze.

.....If that doesn't get ya goin' I don't know what will, so click here for all of that insightful advice crap. You will also notice that we have redone the links section to the right. There are some new sites that truly kick ass over there so check them out. You will also notice that some sites are gone, including all top-sites. You guys we're too smart to click the buttons and I love you too much to trick you into it, so I just got rid of them. Good riddance. On the other hand I'm going to list a few sites here for you to check out after you're done here and I assure you they all rule.

Click these you fuckers:

Twoinchesfully - Lameking - Redbrain - Classorsex - Chimptopia

.....It's been a few days, but there are some exciting new things for you greedy bastards to check out. First of all there is a new Doug update. Check it out here. Doug and I had a discussion earlier today about jobs, and decided that the greatest job ever would be to be the guy who played the grapes in the old Fruit of the Loom underwear commercials. "Hi, nice to meet you SuperGenius, what do you do?" "Oh, I'm the grapes in the underwear ads." Have I mentioned lately that Chimptopia is one of the goodest written sites on the Internet?

I get e-mail:

From: Professor Brainpan

To: SuperGenius@smartestmanontheweb.com

Subject: you fraud bastard pig type person

This injustice has gone on long enough! You stinking rat bastard! Mr. so called Super genius, how dare you make such a outlandish claim to be the smartest man on the web!! Your boasting shall be your down fall, you spotty little man.

DEATH TO THE "SUPER GENIUS"

Prof. Brainpan

Normally I would write this off as a normal reader e-mail until this came:

From: Professor Brainpan

To: SuperGenius@smartestmanontheweb.com

Subject: pig fucker

dear SG

my warning has gone unheeded my minion creepy Eddie will soon be paying you a visit

P.B.

.....I then sent him an e-mail back and asked him to let me know what the hell it is that he wants and to show himself. Much to my surprise he did. Go ahead and go here to see what this TWIT has to say. There are also many many exciting things happening shortly so be sure to check back every day!

After you are done here go and check out some of these swank sites!

Holy Zoo - Vulgus Filter - Stupid Teen Shit - TX3 - FreakFarm - SnowSurfer

Archives are for sissies.....if it ain't here it ain't here.