......Not so long ago our good friend Doug seemed to have some sort of a breakdown and in a Peppermint Schnapps and Jack Daniel's haze he drew a crude anarchy sign on his chest with some K.C. Masterpiece barbecue and assaulted my Eureka World-Vac. Since this happened it seems as though my vacuum cleaner has been very hesitant to come out of the closet, and very uncooperative when it comes to helping me clean the carpet. We began to wonder what the problem was.

.....So a couple of days ago I head out to get some eats at some local fast food eatery while Doug sat on the couch watching a rerun of Judge Judy and I came home to a scene that shall be emblazoned into my mind like no other.

.....So there he is all snugglin' with the World-Vac in a Peppermint Schnapps induced coma with a bent Doral hanging on his lip. The clouds began to clear so I confronted him.

.....I said, "Dude what the hell are you doing?", and here was his response, "I was laying on the floor doing some bench presses with the Eureka, trying to get fit and shit, and I guess I got tired or something." I told him what a flimsy excuse I thought that was, and then he claimed that he and the vac were "just friends" and nothing happened. He then proceeded to pass out again.

.....I called Doug this morning and questioned him about that nights events and he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about, but did assure me that he was ready to get down to some serious training so he can win the Mr. Universe title and do a cartwheel. I said okay, so we set up a time tomorrow for some serious training. Be sure to check back soon to see how it turns out.