.....We all know about Doug's fling with the Dirt Devil in Florida, so it was finally time to approach him about it and see what was going on. My poor World Vac had seen the pictures and had become very distraught. So thus the interrogation begins......

.....I asked Doug what happened with the Dirt Devil in Florida and he replied, "Yo, you ain't gots to be trippin' and shit. That lil' ho got what she was beggin' for. As for the World Vac....The Doug has moved on to bigger and better things." I was dumbfounded by Doug's new attitude. I asked him about the chain he was sporting and he responded, "The Doug knows people that know people and The Doug always gots to be representin', yo. The Doug can't be walkin' around lookin' all broke and shit. The Doug's fans have expectations that The Doug has to meet." I said, "O.K..............." Apparently Doug now refers to himself in the third person and thinks he is some kind of rock/rap superstar. I politely reminded him that he has NOT become Mr. Universe yet and that he was hurting those around him, so I went to get the World Vac to back me up. I was appalled at what was happening in my very own closet!

.....As I'm sure you can imagine I completely freaked out. I tried to keep Doug out of the living room to spare him the horror of what had happened, but it was too late. Once again I saw the look of rage in Doug's eyes and let me tell you, you wouldn't like "The Doug" when he's angry.

.....The Doug came barreling around the corner and flew through my kitchenette executing a kick not unlike that of Jean Claude Van Damme, other than the Doral of course.