.....As the beasts continued to cook the smell got worse and worse. I diligently stood in front of the microwave and watched them carefully though just like the package said. The pouch began to expand and this was very exciting. It didn't expand very far though, but it stopped and the package said to take them out when they stopped expanding, so guess what I did? I took them out and a blast of nuclear pork whiff hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I opened the package for you though.

.....As horrifying as this is, it also peaked my curiosity. I wanted to know what they looked like before they got cooked.

.....This peaked my curiosity even further, because now I wanted to see what they looked like while they were cooking! If I was rich I would have made a short film of the magic that took place in my microwave, but I'm not, so let's just say that they looked like those little black snakes you get on the Fourth of July except they are made of pork instead of concentrated cat hair.

.....I noticed that some of them were still uncooked, so I decided to pop them back into the microwave. What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.